balance.

Hello again. I kind of wanted to discuss something that is related to my dancing and to pretty much everything in my life. I think I just notice it more in my dance…

From reading my blogs, or looking at my social media, you are not going to see my flaws. I really go out of my way to make sure nothing embarrassing, negative, or anything that makes me look bad goes online. When I was 16, I didn’t care at all on what I put online. I posted statuses of me being upset, complaining, and other times were of me confessing how sad I was. And when I was 16, I was very confident about who I was. I was on step team, and I made sure my vibe gave off ‘I am strong, fierce, and awesome’. LOL it is so silly yet I completely miss this about myself. Because of this attitude in high school, I do believe it made me a better dancer. It made me more confident and strong in my moves.

Today, I am almost the opposite. My general attitude is very different than how it was in high school. My attitude in high school had its cons: I was lonely a lot, I had too much pride to ask for help, and I found myself being very cold towards people.

Now, I would describe my attitude as ‘I am caring, friendly, and smart’. Because of this attitude, I have more friends, a great boyfriend, and I have gotten better at dealing with conflicts and people in general. However, I guess the cons affiliated with my current attitude is that I forget to love myself, I am more self conscious about people liking me, and I am not as confident as I used to be.

The struggle is finding that steady balance. I want to be fierce and I want to be caring. I want to carry myself eloquently and perform in front of an audience. I know this is achievable, it’s just a matter of actually achieving it.

I finally realized this about myself from my dance journey this year. Performing used to be A LOT easier for me and now, I pretty much get stage fright.

Hopefully in the next 6 months I will learn even more from this dance journey and maybe understand how I can go about achieving this balance. Thanks for reading 🙂

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