Wow it’s been a while since I have written a post! Kind of scary reading some of my older blogs… I have certainly not forgotten what anxiety is. What it feels like. And the damage that it can do. I am very glad to report that my anxiety has diminished quite tremendously. Not just by chance or luck, but by continuous effort to find what or who can help me.
Last year, I was still a sufferer of anxiety, and it was getting pretty bad again to where it was tough to go to work, or anywhere else. It was tough for not only me but for my boyfriend as well, who I now live with. I look back at my posts and I remember that my boyfriend did have a hard time understanding my anxiety. Now, he doesn’t try to fully understand, he just tries to be there for me and does what he is capable.
Upon my countless efforts to understand my anxiety and see what can be done, I stumbled upon a TedX presenter who talked about his anxiety and how he cured himself. I watched his video and for the first time I was starting to truly grasp why I suffered from anxiety. Everyone’s story is unique, however I think those who suffer from anxiety have a few common traits, who are then put under certain circumstances that make us experience similar feelings, which can then lead us to experience anxiety.
Scientifically, I just wanted to state that anxiety is a survival mechanism that humans used to rely upon. Having a sense of fear and danger was necessary to escape dangerous situations and survive. It has been a while though since humans have really needed that sense of anxiety and now that feeling is coming out as illogical sense of fear or danger. (This is purely in my own words, if you would like to add a comment or even correct me, please feel free to do so.)
You then have the behavioral characteristics that I think are common among those who experience anxiety, and that is intelligence and compassion. Heavy thinkers and intellectuals know so much of the scary world and universe we live in; mix that in with compassion and you have a very emotionally intelligent being. It can be a beautiful mix, but it can also be tough to bear so much emotion in your heart and your mind during times of sadness. I think the common way of thinking for those who experience anxiety is “Why do I feel this way? Logically, I shouldn’t, but I do.” This illustrates that one experiences emotions at a higher level than other beings and is able to acknowledge that emotions sometimes do not make sense. And in a way, by trying to convince yourself that you should or should not be experiencing a certain emotion shows that you have let society’s opinions and expectations affect you. I do not think it’s one person’s fault if they suffer from anxiety. Unfortunately, I think it is the world that has been cultivated to its present time that is at fault. But as humans, we can adapt and we can accept the way things are in order to move along.
With all the aforementioned, I realized that with the type of person I am, under the circumstances I was raised, I have been a bird with the expectations to be a fish. I realize now that my life choices and the way I like to live are different from the values I was raised with. I do not necessarily disagree with those values, but the “how” is what really made the significant impact in my life.
In the TedX video I mentioned earlier, the presenter discussed a book he read called Play. I bought the book off Amazon and read it the first chance I got. I sincerely believe it is the one thing that completely changed my outlook on life. Ever since reading that book, I have made a few changes in my lifestyle and my anxiety has minimized substantially. Because of this, I am experiencing happiness more than ever before.
On my next post I will write about the major changes I have made in my life, what they mean to me, and what I do consistently to keep my anxiety at bay. Cheers to being an emotionally intelligent and compassionate person who is no longer afraid of this world, but embraces all of its storms and grace at the same time!